Sappho is a gorgeous vintage bookstore with a stunning courtyard and bar out the back with speckled shade, a lazy cat, live music… I could lounge around here browsing through the books and sipping on summery cocktails all day long. But not today because it’s a Tuesday, it’s raining, and I’m trudging along pushing 30kg of pram and children. The bar is closed, the cat is nowhere to be seen and the only option for me here is to get my takeaway coffee and banana bread before the whinging starts. Unlike the Sappho Bookstore as a whole, the Sappho Cafe itself didn’t feature in my summer daydream because it’s not good. You order from a cramped little counter in the middle of a junction of corridors between the books, the upstairs stairs, the corridor to the bar and a separate corridor to the courtyard. The food options are a strange mix of cuisines, which, the last time I was here, were served lacking both flavour and presentation. So I wasn’t surprised when my hot, milky coffee lacked any kind of distinctive flavour, or when my banana bread was big and yellow and tasted like cake. You could see the flecks of banana in it, but it was very vanillery. I guess it had a nice crust, if I’m being charitable. Attempting to navigate the baby boat out through the aisles of books, I’m reminded why I can’t have nice things. Don’t worry, eye-rolling hipsters, I’ll be in the playground where I belong soon enough.

Coffee: -1
BB: 0

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