Le Parisien is not the picturesque image of quaint, countryside France they think it is. The decor is old and tired. There’s lace where it doesn’t belong. The baked goods in the glass counter look like sad little French cliches. The serviette dispensers all have a strip of bright contact covering them in pink-trimmed pictures of cakes. They do bake traditional-style French cakes to order, which could be good, I don’t know, they just looked a bit whipped-creamy to me. There was no banana bread and I wasn’t interested in anything else. My flat white was one of the most terrible coffees I’ve ever encountered in my pursuit of banana bread. I’ve been to France and while I don’t remember the coffee, given France’s proximity to Italy, I doubt it was anywhere near this bad. The coffee was boiled to the point of being curdled, and yet it wasn’t even hot. Were they reheating old milk in the steamer repeatedly or something? I literally cannot comprehend how it managed to taste so bad. Fortunately for Le Parisien, my reviews aren’t taken particularly seriously. Let’s hope this doesn’t end up in Le Parisien.

Coffee: -1
BB: N/A

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